MyLonliness

    As I sit alone in my room and stare at a boutonnière from my brother's wedding, I....I'm scared; fearful of the unpredictability of the future. The uncertainty that it holds. All I can think about is if my life will become as good as my brother who got married. Will I find a boyfriend? Will I get a steady job or career? Will I find happiness in living? So far, living is far too lonely while the thought of death is comforting.    I want to know what the future holds so that I can decide for myself if it is worth going on. I fear my life when I should just enjoy it. I can't crave something if I don't take pleasure in it. I guess the

Why am I so happy? There isn't anything to be happy about in my life; I don't have a significant other, I feel like I don't have any friends, Nothing in my life seems to be going right. So why am I happy......content with right now? Could it be the sun bathing me with it's warmth, The way I look at nature and see it so radiant, and beautiful? I don't understand, yet there is something inside of me that grasps me and tells me That everything is fine, and good, and....happy. What is a guy to do when this happens, because moments like this are rare to me. Am I to just 'play' along with it, or maybe work towards other good things, or po

This, my loneliness. This enchantment that lingers over me. All I wish is for it to be broken. Broken by someone, anyone willing to hold onto me. But as the days flow by, I feel it getting stronger. Entrapping me into its grasp, unable to free myself. This feeling that I grow tired of, Will eventually become my grave. Unless someone is willing to fight for me, Someone that would want to see me for another day. Yet, I fear that will never happen, But the only thing keeping me here is hope. I don't know if this hope is false or not, But I must have the patience to find out. If I don't, I wouldn't be able to know what could've been